Lost

Ever since graduation I've felt lost. I feel like I'm stumbling through life right now. I had gotten the jobs that I had wanted when I got home, but they haven't worked out the way I had hoped. Deciding to work for Allison again was a big disaster! Her business is dying and her personal life drama has affected it immensely. So working for her, well, has been a big disappointment. At least I have the jump ring maker position to fall back on, which is mindless, but at least I'm making some money. I also recently took up a job at the Kidney Cancer Association... Okay yes, not jewelry related, but it's a charity and I only work there 4 hours a week, plus it definitely helps with my dreadful student loans! I've applied for an internship and am just playing the waiting game right now... so, life after graduation has been kind of not how I thought it would be. I used to be so motivated and so inspired. Now I can hardly get myself to sit at my work bench and create. I get so many ideas and get so excited, but when it comes down to it I can't get myself to produce too much. Maybe coming home was a bad idea, but at the time, it seemed like the right decision. After being gone for four years from my family. But now that it is winter time here in Illinois, i remember why I chose to go to school in the south... Well, enough depressing talk... In a month I will be taking classes again at the local art studio, so hopefully that will help my motivation. Also I am going to borders today and maybe i can find a book on squids or some other inspiring thing and maybe it will click! cross your fingers!